Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Friday, May 20, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
my teacher threw away my writings. i really wanted to reead them again. i cant believe he did that. poor old man, throwing away treasures mistaken for trash. he needs that hearing aid fixed. and his glasses intensified. if he wants to keep up with the modern world, he has got to be equipped.
the rain wont stop pouring, and the people keep pilign up in this room. just to get a glimpse at warmth. theres no heaters in this school. but all the body heat combined is working as a fine substitute. i havent eaten all day today. i'm hungry. and there is something i could do about it but i dont want to go trudging across the school just to get a pb &j on stale bread. i can't wait to get out of here, i only have four more quarters. 44 days each, that is 176 days, only 880 more hours in this institution. my boyfriend would be proud to here me referring to this school as an institution, i supoose in many ways it is.
the rain wont stop pouring, and the people keep pilign up in this room. just to get a glimpse at warmth. theres no heaters in this school. but all the body heat combined is working as a fine substitute. i havent eaten all day today. i'm hungry. and there is something i could do about it but i dont want to go trudging across the school just to get a pb &j on stale bread. i can't wait to get out of here, i only have four more quarters. 44 days each, that is 176 days, only 880 more hours in this institution. my boyfriend would be proud to here me referring to this school as an institution, i supoose in many ways it is.
2:30 pm
ive never known how to move on
acceptance for me is like breathing underwater
I pray for the day when my mind is content
when my body is healthy
when my soul is correct
let me reside in my wisdom
not crumble in the faults
I sit and i think
about nothing
in particular
and its in that nothingness
that i find and loose myslef
why is my life such a contridiction
why are my words never my words
the gravity of lifes end
will release me from doubt,
insanity,
my lack of strength, of patience
im old and dead
rotten and molding
I resent my life
my mind
my body
acceptance for me is like breathing underwater
I pray for the day when my mind is content
when my body is healthy
when my soul is correct
let me reside in my wisdom
not crumble in the faults
I sit and i think
about nothing
in particular
and its in that nothingness
that i find and loose myslef
why is my life such a contridiction
why are my words never my words
the gravity of lifes end
will release me from doubt,
insanity,
my lack of strength, of patience
im old and dead
rotten and molding
I resent my life
my mind
my body
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
school shmool.
i really hate how people treat me here. theres no respect. if they had any idea how far away from their thoughts i was. if only they knew me. its like my skin is green. and everyone keeps saying " your skin is red." and they get mad at me, cus my skin is red. but its fucking not. nor will it ever be. not even a little bit. i love people. i hate what they can do sometimes. the evil within them, makes me so sad... i just loose faith all the time. gaining it back is the hardest part. losing it is so much easier. why is life so hard? i dont evn want things to make sense, i dont want to be my mother, so sure of everything thats not true. so convinced her age has to do with her ability to see the truth.
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